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We need to talk. I am here to listen.

  • Writer: Deoné Duffy
    Deoné Duffy
  • Sep 27, 2022
  • 3 min read

Updated: May 17

A revisited and updated version of an article first published in my LinkedIn Newsletter in September 2022.


Where the Conversation Begins

 

This piece revisits an article I first published in September 2022, updated to reflect how my perspective and understanding have grown since then.


What I Told Myself About Creativity

 

Throughout my working life, I could never understand how humanity had any hope of creatively addressing the world’s biggest challenges. For much of my life, I often felt drained of all creativity – despite knowing that I had the capacity for it and come from a creative family.

 

This drained feeling persisted, even though many of my personal pursuits were focused on creating more space for creativity.


Two people talking over coffee in a relaxed, informal setting.

The Questions That Wouldn’t Leave Me

 

My train of thought would often follow patterns like these:


  • I know I have the ability to creatively problem‑solve, engage with complexity, challenge assumptions, and produce viable solutions to difficult systemic challenges.

  • Yet I feel that I will never be able to do this in my working life.

  • Why not? Because I need to earn a living, and once I’ve done what needs doing, there is no creative energy left. Then I have no residual energy for thinking.

  • Add to this the pace of family life, and I become almost robotic in my day‑to‑day functioning.

  • It is true that some people do creative things and contribute to impactful change. I wonder why they have the energy to do this.

  • Is it because their financial pressures are easier to manage?

  • Is it because they need less sleep?

  • Is it because they have found a way to manage their diaries and carve out thinking time?

  • Is it because they maintain boundaries better than I do?

  • Is it because they made the most of their time before having a partner or children?

  • Or are they single and without children?

  • I should try mindfulness, yoga, exercise, saying no, managing expectations, letting go of what doesn’t matter, communicating better at work, building better teams, delegating…

 

I should.

 

The Beginning of a Sense-Making Journey

 

But with the way my life is now, I can only muster up the energy to get through a working day and then take a moment to watch my girls play while I lie on the living-room floor, waiting for the moment they fall asleep, and the world becomes silent.


This is the year in which all of this suddenly begins to make sense. I am autistic (and, as I would later discover, probably ADHD, with Hypermobile Spectrum Disorder, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome and Dysautonomia – more on that in future editions).


Who would have guessed? It is likely that you would not have, I certainly didn’t. And this is precisely why, like so many newly identified or diagnosed neurodivergent people, I felt the urge to make it known. It was a big moment for me - Not quite an Aha!, but more of an Oooooh…

 

Rethinking What We Call “Normal”

 

How interesting. Would it then be fair to say that if my experience of the world has been considered somewhat fringe, the majority of people around me may have had a significantly different experience of life? And does it follow that they are similar enough in their neurological make-up to be grouped into one lump of ‘neurotypical’? I am not so sure. That feels strange to me.


Depending on definitions, estimates range widely, but many suggest a substantial portion of the population may be neurodivergent. If I add to that everyone who is supposedly neurotypical but finds the ‘work norm’ prejudiced against them (parents, ageing workforce, non-dominant racial groups, atypical sexual orientations, and more) I cannot help but wonder whether our corporate norms are serving anyone on an individual level. And if they are, whom?


This is one of the defining questions of our time. One we cannot answer without understanding each other.


Through this blog, I want to invite you to help me understand you better. I will share some of my thoughts, experiences and reading, and I hope they help to deepen the conversation. I want to understand you – whether you identify as neurodivergent, neurotypical, or in whatever way most resonates with your lived experience. I want to understand what shapes your ‘identity’ and the words you choose to communicate that with me. I hope to continue writing, perhaps one day a book, and I hope that you can help me shape it into something that captures the complexity and nuance of creating inclusive work environments that empower people to do good and make an impact.

 

Neuroconnectedness: Thought to feeling. Body to brain. Me to you. Us to our systems.





 

About the Author



Deoné Duffy smiling with their chin resting on their hand against a light background.


Deoné Duffy is a coach and speaker who works with individuals, leaders and organisations who are ready to ask difficult questions, think differently and do differently.


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